A pirate walks off his ship. He has a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his right eye.
He sits down on a bench, and begins throwing peanuts to the seagulls. Two curious young children shyly sit down next to him and ask the pirate how he came to have a wooden leg.
The pirate replies, "Well, I was standing on the deck of me ship one day, and a wave washed me overboard. Then, a hungry shark attacked me and bit me leg off."
The little boy then asks, "How did you lose your hand?"
"Many years ago, I was fighting the Navy, and one of them boys cut me hand off. Me doc couldn't find a hand, so he gave me this hook."
Next, the little girl asks, "How did you lose your eye?"
"Well, I was standing watch up in the crow's nest, and just as I looked up, a lousy seagull flew over and did his business right in me eye."
The children, now thoroughly confused, ask, "How did that cause you to lose your eye?"
The pirate explains, "Well, it was me first day with the hook."
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